


we'll have our pearls

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:23:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2302994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr ships AU meme: fake relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we'll have our pearls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [damalur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/damalur/gifts).



> Originally posted to [Tumblr](http://notalwaysweak.tumblr.com/post/97452436953/sheldon-leslie-14-or-or-sheldon-penny-12-or-maybe).
> 
> Not mine, just borrowing.
> 
> * * *

“It’ll confuse the hell out of the boys,” is Leslie’s leading argument.

“Well, yeah. It’s already working on _me_ ,” is Penny’s response.

It’s been a regular work day so far, which means that her feet are killing her and there’s a smear of dubious origin down the front of her apron and her hair’s falling out of the French braid that she spent half an hour on this morning. By comparison Leslie looks like she just stepped off the cover of _Vogue_ , and _she’s_ only wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

And she’s just asked Penny to date her.

Well, fake date her. Flirt a little, wink and smile a little, that sort of thing. Leslie is no longer so sure that she did the right thing in terms of sleeping with Howard and Leonard – in or out of that order, whatever – because neither of them will leave her alone, and a lesbian fling is _apparently_ the best way to put them off.

“Well, bisexual fling,” Leslie says. “But it’s all just semantics if you say no.”

Penny says yes.

*

The first couple of incidents are nothing much.

Penny pointedly brings Leslie a free drink (which, yeah, _she_ has to pay for, but it’s for the sake of the cover story) and leans in close when she delivers it; Leslie’s fingertips skate up her bare forearm and Howard, mid-pickup-line, stutters to a halt.

Leslie catches Penny in the hallway outside the bathrooms and puts her lips right against Penny’s ear to whisper, “It’s working,” self-assured and amused as Leonard nearly trips over his own feet because he’s watching them, not where he’s going.

*

They kiss, briefly, as Leslie leaves the restaurant one night.

(The guys aren’t even there, but it seems like good practice, in case someone blows their cover.)

*

They make out for the duration of Penny’s break on one lunchtime shift the next week, when Howard and Raj have tailed Leslie to the Cheesecake Factory instead of keeping to their own cafeteria. Leslie wears vanilla chapstick that makes her lips smooth, and she kisses in a way that is not vanilla at all.

Howard bugs Penny for details that night as they play Wii Bowling, to the point where Penny wishes she had a real bowling ball to drop on his foot.

*

“I’m onto you,” Penny tells Leslie breathlessly. They are out back in the alley, which smells like cigarette smoke and grease, and Leslie’s thigh is wedged between Penny’s, and there is absolutely nobody around to see them.

Leslie raises an eyebrow. “Are you? I think _I’m_ onto _you_.” She grinds against Penny a little to remind Penny whose back is pressed against the bricks.

“You didn’t want anything fake.”

Leslie grins. “You catch on quick, Barbie.” Her hand slips matter-of-factly into Penny’s skirt and has her shivering apart in seconds, and it’s not fake at all.


End file.
